Just George...

Grief questions for a fictional family

The Harry Potter and the Sacred Text podcast will drop a new episode tomorrow, where they will discuss one of the chapters from the final book in the Harry Potter series through the theme of ritual.

I found something I wrote in late 2020, when the podcast was discussing this book for the first time. Now they have circled back around again, and my questions still stand. I am grateful they are still broadcasting and providing space to process.

I continue to think about GrandMolly and those rituals…

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Since I find myself returning to the Harry Potter books over and over again, I have decided to approach each new reading through a different lens, seeing what new insights I can glean through an enhanced reflection. Ever since my son died pre-COVID, when the podcast was in the early chapters of book four in the series, I have been following along with weekly Harry Potter and the Sacred Text (HPST) episodes in anticipation of discussions surrounding each new character death that would be coming from there on out. This was particularly therapeutic in that I could experience the re-readings and the episodes at my own pace, and in anonymity. This was a much welcomed reprieve from the very public nature of my own life, which was inundated with those who had loved my child tremendously yet were ill equipped at how to simply be in shared spaces with me, much less acknowledge the difficulties of grief and loss.

When the realities of COVID isolation began to settle over the land in the early months of 2020, the HPST team truly upped their game by providing multiple online gatherings in addition to their continuing weekly podcast offerings, which were then into book seven. Spoiler alert…many people die in that book. Every single one of them provides content and nuance worthy of their own deep dives. However, the death of Fred was one that loomed large in my headspace. Everything about that book for me was about processing each interaction he had in the months leading up to his sudden death — the conversations, arguments, jokes, last words, last expressions of affection — those things that become so much more impactful in hindsight.

I tend to default to a Molly lens when reading these books, and have definitely done so in every reading of book seven since that initial marathon reading of that book on the day it was released in July 2007. In that first year after my son died, I journaled about the ins and outs of our days as it related to losing one of our favorite people. They are heavy words — possibly too heavy for public distribution or consumption — but I do not regret capturing them in real time. Since then, however, I have broadened my perspective to the actions and reactions of the family members affected by the death of a loved one, to mirror my own widening focus.

When HPST offered an online program with an overview of the series, focusing on one book per week, I jumped in and found myself being intentional about thinking through the scenes with Fred and the rest of his family, particularly with his twin brother, George. Some random facts about Fred and George:

—When the series begins, Fred and George are about to begin their third year at Hogwarts.

—They have three older brothers, and a younger brother and sister.

—In every scene of the book where they make an appearance, they are together, except for the scene where Fred dies.

— In every single mention I have heard of them, in any context of the Harry Potter series when various internet strangers bring them up, the order of their names is ALWAYS Fred and George, never George and Fred.

(photo credit: Murray Close)

This most recent time spent reading through the series, some other ‘facts’ stood out to me:

—Fred is hand’s down the more active and vocal of the twins. I have not made exact calculations, but Fred speaks about 80% more than George.

—Fred is also portrayed as quite mean and snarky at times, and is much more of the instigator of the more questionable activities the brothers take part in.

— George extends more of the acts of kindness and generosity.

So these things have gotten me thinking — what does a life post-Fred look like not only for the Weasley family members in general, but for George in particular? How does he learn to navigate a world where he was literally one half of a duo, when his identity is no longer defined as having an inseparable twin, but as ‘having had’ a brother that everyone linked you to, but always second? Will George be able to shine, or will he shrink?

I watched this play out on a much smaller scale with my other children, those brothers who are left behind to define or dodge the identities thrust upon them by virtue of having a beloved older brother now departed. I read these stories and imagine a world where Molly has to second guess every ritual of their pre-Fred lives with the realities of their post-Fred lives.

Those siblings — Bill, Charlie, Percy, George, Ron, and Ginny — will each process and go forward in different ways. Some of it will be as expected, while parts will come as an unwelcome surprise to themselves and to others. But this time, I have been focusing on George. I have viewed their presence over seven fictional years and have listened in on their conversations with each other, and with everyone else.

This is what I have realized — Fred was the mouthpiece and showman of the two. He seemed to be the initiator and record keeper. The good and kind actions seem to have come from George. The two boys seem almost interchangeable, and it was only after George’s accident that left visible damage to one of his ears that people could tell them apart. But not anymore. No one will ever wonder again which twin he is. George is the one left behind to figure out who he is now, and how he goes forward. Which pieces of Fred will he absorb into his personality and interactions? Is he much more of an introvert that will now be expected to continue on without his sidekick?

Was George the brains behind the brilliant joke shop products? If not, what does that mean for him going forward?

Will Lee Jordan step up, or slide away into awkward obscurity?

Will some slip and call him Fred by mistake, or get teary-eyed each and every time they look at him?

What will his life look like as ‘Just George’?

Which sibling will be the first to name one of their children after Fred?

Will George eventually play Quidditch excessively and therapeutically, or never ride a broomstick again?

Will he have to share his birthday as a type of dual exercise of celebration mixed with sad remembrance?

Will Molly or Arthur handle him with kid gloves, wondering how best to love him through his loss while all the time wondering how in the world they will make it through the upcoming holidays themselves?

What does Molly’s clock indicate about Fred now? Has he been removed, or received some other newly designated status, and what does George think about this?

Does he become addicted to some Fire Whiskey, or possibly some illicit potion to help him cope?

Will he think he could have saved Fred if he had just been beside him instead of trying to organize some type of defense of the school entrances?

Is this scene of himself kneeling at Fred’s head while his mother was lying across his chest, her body shaking as his dad stroked her hair while tears streamed down unchecked, etched into his dreams now? Or do they more resemble nightmares?

The books don’t give details for how George discovered Fred had died. Did someone tell him, and if so, who? Did he happen to come around the corner and see Fred on the ground and hear Percy’s cries? Did George ever speak of it again, or did he hold that particular memory close?

Asking for a friend…